Anyone who is involved in some form of social networking website will know exactly what I’m talking about when I say that we are plagued annually by four distinct types of status updates. These updates happen in the week or so upcoming to February 14th – Valentine’s Day and are as follows.
Status Update Type One: The Relationship Person
This person just so happens to be in a relationship on Valentine’s Day and is very clearly ecstatic about it. Their status may or may not be extremely annoying and they usually seem to think everyone is as happy about February 14th as they are.
A typical status by The Relationship Person may be something along the lines of:
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! I love you, [insert name here]. You’re the best boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/significant other/whatever your heart desires to call your “valentine”
Status Update Type Two: The Bitter, Angry Single
This person is very obviously single and very obviously unhappy about it. They take their unhappiness and let it out with a nice bitter status, usually not realizing that they aren’t covering up being upset very well. This status type is always annoying.
It may go something like this, but is usually much more overdramatic:
Ugh, Valentine’s Day is just so stupid! It’s not even a real holiday. Who cares about hearts and chocolate and relationships? It’s the stupidest thing ever.
Status Update Type Three: The “Forever Alone”
Even more annoying than the bitter single is the emotional “I will never find love” single. They don’t hesitate to pour their entire lonely heart into their status update. This person needs the whole world to know how desperate they are to find a relationship.
A typical “forever alone” status update:
Another Valentine’s Day spent alone… Siiigh- Will I ever meet my Prince Charming? I doubt it. I’m doomed to be a crazy cat lady. At least chocolate goes on sale tomorrow…
Status Update Type Four: The “I don’t care about Valentine’s Day”
This person does not care whatsoever about Valentine’s Day. They do, however, care enough to make a status telling everyone how much they don’t care.
A typical I’m-too-cool-to-care status update:
Lol why does everyone make such a big deal about Valentine’s Day? It’s not even a real holiday, it’s so superficial. Stop whining about being single and stop bragging about how much you love someone.
Regardless of which status category you may or may not fall under, have a good day- whether you take that as a “happy valentine’s day” or just a general good day.
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